From our first date we both knew we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. As we have gotten to know each other more deeply in our relationship, we have so many great qualities in each other that led us on a journey to start a family together. Raising two french bulldog puppies together has revealed a more gentle, nurturing side in us, and seeing how we interact with our nephews and nieces and our families shows our genuine love for kids and family. We value our family, our faith, and our relationship to each other above all else, and there is nothing more we want to do together than build a family.
As gay men we knew we didn’t have a ton of options for building our family. After doing extensive research and speaking to multiple couples, clinics, and agencies, we realized that surrogacy is a viable but complicated option to building our family. Our surrogacy agency, the Surrogacy Center of Philadelphia, matched us with a surrogate in December 2020. Our dreams started to become a reality when we met Rebecca and her husband, Ryan. We witnessed firsthand how surrogates and their partners are so selfless and generous spirits to bring a child into this world for someone else.
How was your experience at Main Line Fertility?
After meeting with Dr. Allison Bloom we knew we wanted to work with her right from the start. We loved how Dr. Bloom was a member of the LGBTQ+ community and her own fertility journey really resonated with us. We loved how she made time for us to answer questions and made herself available even if we didn’t have an appointment. You could tell she really cares about her patients and she celebrated with us on all our milestones from embryo creation, to finding an egg donor, to transfer day, to the news of being pregnant. Dr. Bloom was with us every step of the way. We also appreciated her advice when we had to make some difficult decisions and her perspective really showed how smart she is and knowledgeable about the process.
We also got to know a lot of the Main Line Fertility team through our journey. Our third-party coordinator, Terri, was also available at a minute’s notice to always answer questions and ease our minds when we were worried about something related to surrogacy costs or egg donation. The phone calls from the monitoring team or the lab were always ones we were worried about because they were sharing important news, but we always got the sense that the nurses and technicians really cared about our journey and were just as excited as we were on great news. Our last day (“graduation day”) was a sad one because we developed strong bonds with Dr. Bloom and her team, but seeing their smiles and genuine care and support meant everything for us. We are so unbelievably thankful for everything Main Line Fertility did for us on building our family.
What advice would you give to other members of the LGBTQ community who are thinking about starting a family?
Our main advice to LGBTQ+ patients is to do a lot of research and talk to as many people as you can prior to a surrogacy journey. We learned a lot about the process by setting up at least a half dozen free consultations with surrogacy agencies. You can learn a lot by speaking to directors of these agencies and get a sense of surrogacy costs and what the journey can look like. The process is quite complicated from a medical and legal aspect so understanding all aspects of the journey is very important. We also joined a lot of social media groups such as Men Having Babies and have connected with gay couples on there to ask questions and create a support system. These groups can provide invaluable advice as you start your path to parenthood. Lastly, and most importantly, just take a deep breath and be patient. If this process taught us anything it is patience as there is a significant amount of waiting. It’s important though to reach out to Main Line Fertility and all the resources they provide and allow your surrogacy agency to assist in making the process a smooth one.